Unfaithfulness to the husband-wife union appears everywhere on our screens and in books today. From its portrayal in fiction to its glorification by elites and their media in real life, faithful marriage between men and women is less important than expressing “love,” or something.
While the world may not care about marital faithfulness, God does. The Seventh Commandment forbids all types of marital unfaithfulness, pointing to the ideal of the one man-one woman union of marriage, and its expression of God’s relationship to his people. This unfaithfulness goes beyond physical unfaithfulness to unfaithfulness of the heart, and calls us to loving devotion to God, to our spouses, and to marriage in a world which neglects all three.
In the second portion of the Ten Commandments, offences against other people have taken a special focus. The Fifth Commandment protects the relationships of superiors and inferiors (eg, parents and children, and more broadly government and citizens), while the Sixth Commandment protects the sanctity of life.
The Seventh Commandment protects the sanctity of the marriage relationship, which is the cornerstone of a functioning family and by extension, society. “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14).
Relationships are built on trust. When one party is unfaithful, then trust is broken and affected, sometimes irreparably. This is true in business relationships and friendships; how much more in marriage. When a husband or wife is unfaithful, a bond of trust is broken. This truth was acknowledged by the nations surrounding Israel that they described adultery as “the great sin” and often imposed the death sentence for violators.
The commandment not to commit adultery forbids all forms of unfaithfulness to the marriage covenant. It forbids married couples engaging in relations outside of the relationship between husband and wife. It forbids those who are single from entering into such relations with someone who is married.
Adultery violates the Creation-order standard of marriage, ordained by God as a one-flesh union between a man and a woman (Gen. 2:24). Adultery is like a knife which cuts open this union; it destroys the physical and psychological trust which a man and woman must have to be “one flesh.” When that union is cut open, infections which hurt and destroy families and societies more easily slip in.
There are a number of other sexual sins which God forbids elsewhere (cf Ex. 22, Leviticus 18:6-30, 20:10-21, Deuteronomy). These sins all detract from the order of marriage and expression of love within the man-woman union created by marriage, but none is quite as damaging to marriage as adultery, which serves as the typical example of these sins within the Ten Commandments.
Marriage serves in Scripture as a picture of God’s relationship with his people (eg, Eph. 5:22-33, Rev. 20:6-9, Jer. 3:1-10, Mal. 2:10-16, Hosea 2). An attack on the sanctity of marriage is an attack on an institution which “speaks” to us about God’s love for his Church. Just as we ought to be faithful to our spouses, so too we must be faithful to God. It should not surprise us that unfaithfulness in one area can lead to unfaithfulness in the other.
Jesus goes beyond condemning adulterous acts, but reminds us that the intent of the Seventh Commandment goes to desires as well. Looking with lustful intent is committing adultery in the heart, even if the desire is never followed through (Matt. 5:27-30).
The standard Jesus reminded us that the Seventh Commandment sets is a standard which we all, if we honestly reflect, cannot meet. Even David explicitly violated this commandment (2 Sam. 11-12). Whether before or during marriage, we all have been unfaithful in our hearts to the standard of purity set and proclaimed by example in this commandment.
Thankfully for us, God is both forgiving and faithful. While we are unfaithful, God is still faithful and forgiving, and promises to “betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD” (Hos. 4:19-20).
Since Jesus suffered the penalty for adulterers, we are freed from its guilt and power, to “go, and… sin no more” (John 8:11). We must only confess our sin, as David did, and if we do that then we know that God is faithful and just to forgive us of these sins, and cleanse us from unrighteousness.
We can fulfill the Seventh Commandment positively as well. In forbidding unfaithfulness, it reminds us of the importance of faithfulness to our spouses. In a world which glamourises changing partners like changing shirts, loving and faithful devotion to our spouse stands out. By honouring and cherishing our spouses and the various marriages among our friends and family, we demonstrate our commitment to the Seventh Commandment.
And since marriage is a picture of God’s love for his people, it also reminds us all to honour and cherish our relationship with God. Loving devotion to God shows faithfulness to him, just as he has expressed his faithfulness to us, even when we were unfaithful.
