Warning: this devotional covers a disturbing and upsetting event of abuse and assault.
There are some parts of Scripture that when you read it, it reminds you that this is not written as a feel-good manual. David’s affair with Bathsheba was one of those chapters. The account of Tamar’s violation at the hands of her half-brother Amnon is another.
Any violation is sickening. There is something especially sickening (if it is possible to have a scale of sickening) when it involves taking advantage of those close to you. And more so, when authorities refuse to act. This passage has all of those, along with a crafty companion who is happy to be complicit. It serves as a stark warning that even in places where such awful acts should never strike, it does, and that there must be consequences.
Sometime after the affair of David and Bathsheba, the next event of the prophesied judgement that would occur in David’s household due to his acts began. It ultimately resulted in a terrible rebellion which ripped David’s kingdom and family in two.
David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar (v.1). Amnon, Absalom and Tamar’s half-brother, had noticed Tamar’s beauty and the passage says loved her (v.1). So much so that “Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill” because Tamar was not available to him and his desires (v.2).
His love, it seems, became lust. And his crafty friend Jonadab was more than willing to help Amnon get what he wanted (vv.3-5). He suggested a scheme by which Amnon could arrange some alone time with Tamar, and…
In due course, Amnon was sick, David came to check on his health. When Amnon asked for Tamar to come and tend to him, he foolishly (and perhaps blindly) did not see the danger and issued the instructions (vv.6-7).
Tamar faithfully did as her father asked, thinking nothing of the situation (v.8). But when she brought the food to Amnon, he ordered the servants out, leaving her vulnerable and alone with him (vv.9-10).
Then, Amnon sprung his trap, asking her to lie with him intimately (v.11). Tamar refused, knowing that this was doubly against God’s law, as not only was this violation and abuse, but incestuous (v.12; Lev. 18:9, 11). It was, in fact, godlessness and outrageous willful sin (v.12) that drove Amnon.
Tamar also pleaded with Amnon to think of the consequences for them both of his violating her (v.13), attempting to reason with him and hope his brain and (potential) conscience overrode his glands. Sadly, not even this or a desperate appeal to seek permission from their father as a stall for time worked (v.13).
He would not listen. He was only interested in what he wanted, not what was right. He overpowered her and violated her (v.14).
When he was done, the abuser blamed the abused and “hated her” instead of himself for his despicable, sinful act (v.15). He kicked her out, which poor Tamar understood as only adding further indignity to her (v.16, Ex. 22:16). He had his servants remove her like an object, not a human being (v.17).
Further manhandled and dumped outside, Tamar “put ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she wore” and left loudly crying (vv.18-19).
Her brother Absalom pretty quickly worked out what had happened to his sister (v.20). His words were not much comfort to Tamar who “lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom’s house” (v.20).
Word, as it had to, reached King David’s ears. He was furious at what Amnon had done to his daughter (v.21). But he did…nothing. Absalom did nothing either, but Absalom was biding his time (v.22).
This passage is hard to read. Poor helpless Tamar was taken and abused for sinful lust. Nobody, even her own father the King who was supposed to administer justice, did anything to hold Amnon to account.
It should never have happened. Much less in the king’s family.
We should hate the sin displayed in this passage. It should sicken us. The author wants us to be sickened by it.
We should hate this sin in the world today. It should sicken us. We should be horrified. We should want to do all we can to stop it, and see justice when it happens. And provide compassion, not cold comfort, to its victims.
Of all the places in the world it should never happen, it should never happen in a church. Yet it happens, and gets swept up. It should never be swept up. We must always seek to avoid the weaker and more vulnerable, young or old, male or female, from being the target of abuse in our congregations. We must not be complicit, like Jonadab, in its cover up.
Because judgement will come. This passage was part of the judgement on David for his own sins. God will judge those who abuse others, especially those who are his sheep.
Let us ask God’s help to stand for justice and righteousness, and to comfort those who are victims.
